I am incredibly tired and annoyed.
March 2011
February 2011
“Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.”
-Looking For Alaska
I seriously NEED to get out of here.
Mom, I REALLY DON’T APPRECIATE YOU WATCHING EVERYTHING I DO AND TELLING ME WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT AND WRONG. I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF THINKING FOR MYSELF.
and also, I’m really sorry (but not really) that you don’t always agree with me, but I am doing what I want and I am not going to let you control me or anyone else. I am going to make my own mistakes in life, and that is how I will learn. I will NOT learn from your “talks” that you like to have where you just tell me how everything I do and think is wrong, and how you know what’s best for me… YOU DON’T.
I was just told that I am a bad person for not singing in church today since I have a throat virus.
Discomfort.
Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.
I thought that I was done with these feelings toward you. I overestimated my strength. When I allowed myself to remember you, the feelings rushed back like the never left, and I am here once again, missing you even more than the last time.
I want to go back. I want to start over. I want you to give me another chance.
The words have been drained from this pencil; sweet words that I want to give you. And I can’t sleep; I need to tell you goodnight.
When we’re together I feel perfect. When I’m pulled away from you I fall apart.
You know you’re all that I live for; you know I’d die just to hold you, stay with you.
So many nights I cried myself to sleep. Now that you love me I love myself.
I never thought I would say this. I never thought there’d be you.
I am falling apart.
My back hurts to the point of tears. I need to see a chiropractor, but my dad can’t take me until next weekend.
I have a horrible headache that won’t go away due to the constant screaming of my mother and siblings in this house.
And I have a throat infection that my brother gave me that is supposed to last for about seven days.
I AM GOING TO DIE! (Maybe that’s a bit dramatic… but seriously…)
